


Choices

by Not2be



Category: Insatiable (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 06:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15746049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not2be/pseuds/Not2be
Summary: Bob Armstrong shows up at Bob Barnard’s house after the events of the final episode. Some details are different than how the first season actually ended.





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> I know some people hate this show, which is fine, but I really loved this couple. A couple of warnings, there are some brief allusions to suicide but nothing explicit or graphic. For clarity, I just refer to Bob A. as Bob and Bob B. as Barnard. Okay, with that done and dusted I hope you enjoy it, thank you for reading!

It seemed like he didn’t know how to make a right decision anymore. At least it didn’t feel like he did. He felt like he was always stuck in a dichotomy, asked to make impossible either-or choices. Being a pageant coach or a lawyer. Straight or gay, Bob Barnard or Coralee. He sometimes wished he could live more comfortably in the gray. Driving away now from Patty, he started to wonder if he had made the right choice. He told her to call the cops and would do his best to protect her, but what if it wasn’t enough. He wonders if she wouldn’t have just been better off if he hadn’t shown up at all, if he had just gone through with…

He quickly pulled over feeling like he couldn’t breathe, and his hands were numb. He wasn’t sure how long he sat in his car with his eyes closed tight just trying to figure out what to do next. He had always been so good at thinking on his feet in the past, getting himself and others out of sticky situations now he just felt… _stuck_.  As if on autopilot he found himself pulling into Bob Barnard’s drive way. He wasn’t quite sure how he got there (he would chastise himself for irresponsible driving later). He couldn’t possibly go in now, a complete mess. After everything he had put Barnard through and he still hadn’t made his choice…no, he had no right to ask anything else of him least of all any sort of comfort. But he still couldn’t bring himself to leave.

 _Shit._ He had forgotten about the open bottle of liquor still sitting in his car. The memory of what he had planned to do that night hit him; it was like a damn had broken inside him.

Suddenly he jumped when a figure apeared at his driver’s side window. _Double shit._ He wiped quickly and roughly at his eyes trying to regain his composure before rolling down the window.

“Hey, sorry, I was just-”

“What are you doing here-” The hope in Bob Beautiful Boy Barnard’s voice broke his heart. It took all his self-control not to start crying harder.  “Wait, are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine I-”

“Come inside.”

Bob swallowed thickly and dug his nails into his palms trying to center himself- he was normally so good at performing.

“I don’t know if that such a good-”

“Look, you came here for a reason and you look like a mess just…come in. Please.”

How could he still care after everything? Bob turned off the car and followed his ex-boss inside. 

“So, how long were you planning on sitting out there?” Barnard went to pour himself and Bob a drink trusting he was following close behind, but when he turned around to see Bob’s face in the light he stopped.

“Oh, darlin’, what happened?” He looked even worse than after Patty had outed them.

Bob was convinced he could have held it together if no one had asked him that, if no one looked him in the eye and _saw_. Sometimes all it takes is someone acknowledging that you look on the verge of tears to make them fall and ruin your resolve.

“I’m so sorry,” Bob sobbed. Barnard quickly had him in his arms and Bob felt safe for the first time that night, like maybe his life wasn’t imploding, like maybe _he_ wasn’t imploding.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He felt like he couldn’t stop, there was so much he wanted to say but all that came out was his desperate plea, he couldn’t catch his breath.

“Hey, babe, you need to breathe, it’s okay.”

Bob looked up at Barnard gasping and with red watery eyes.

“I know, it’s not fair of me to be here like this after the day you’ve had. You have your own problems. I really should go, I’m sorry.”

“Go, where?”

“I…I don’t know but that’s not-”

“Well, you sure as hell aren’t diving like this.”

Barnard led Bob over to the couch; he viscerally felt the absence of the other man’s arms around him.

“I’m sorry, I showed up here.”

“I’m not.”

Bob looked up at him unbelieving.

“What happened?” Barnard put a comforting hand on Bob’s shoulder. If he was honest it hurt to be this close to Bob and not know if he was who he would choose or knowing that is was even a choice Bob had to struggle with. But he couldn’t turn him away now, Barnard knew he loved him. Barnard even knew Bob loved him back if only he’d let himself.

“I… I…let down everyone I care about. And I know, knowing that doesn’t make it much better. Being a self-aware asshole doesn’t make you less of an asshole. I don’t know what to do anymore. I let down Coralee, Brick…you” He choked on the last word “and tonight I let down Patty. Again.”

“Patty? When is that girl not in a crisis. You’re always doing your best for her and frankly you don’t owe her anything.”

“Yes, I do!” He exclaimed frustrated. “I know she’s 18 now, but she’s really just a kid, and I was supposed to be responsible for her.” Bob took a long shaky breath.

“Who am I kidding, I can’t be a good father to my own son, why did I think I could be a good godfather or coach.”

“At the end of the day she’s responsible for her own choices, you still don’t owe her anything. Heck, you've already-”

“But she saved my life, twice!”

Barnard stopped mid-sentence taken aback and looked at his lover in confusion.

“Saved your life? What does that mean?”

Bob sagged in exhaustion and put his head in his hands.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter, I love you, Bob.” Bob let out another watery and self-deprecating laugh.

“I can’t imagine why.” Barnard gave him a heartbroken look and wiped gently under his eyes with his thumb.

“Well, your sexy dad bod for starters.” This elicited a real full laugh.  

“Your heart is in the right place Bob, you’re a good man.” Barnard said chocked up himself now.

Bob looked at him as if concentrating on a bewildering and difficult puzzle.

“You really think that don’t you?”

“And you don’t.” He wished Bob could see himself the way he did. They sat in silence for a moment.

Barnard’s voice startled him back to the present, “You’re shaking, Bob.”

“Am I?” his voice felt far away to his own ears.

“We should go to bed.” Barnard stood giving Bob his hand to lead him upstairs.

“Thank you, for all of this. I don’t know what…what I would have done without you tonight.”

Barnard frowned slightly in concern.

“Don’t think we’re done talking about all of this.”

Although Bob felt dread pool in his stomach at the prospect, he felt steady with Barnard’s hand on his back. He laughed “Of course not” He said following close behind Barnard on their way to the bedroom.

“Bob Barnard doesn’t let anything go” he rolled his eyes good naturedly.

 _I hope you’re right_ , Barnard thought to himself as he climbed into bed and pulled the man he loved closer.

**Author's Note:**

> It's not my best, but I hope you liked it. I would love to see more fic for this fandom!


End file.
